How to build better relationships at work
Good relationships are fundamental to our happiness, and work relationships are no different. We don’t just check our emotional needs in at the office door every morning. They come in with us, and feeling connected to a close network of colleagues can make a big difference to our happiness at work.
For example, when we have a community of people at work that we can count on, we are able to bounce back from setbacks faster, accomplish more and feel a greater sense of purpose and meaning in what we do.
Those positive interactions we have during the workday help us cope better with work-related stress and recover faster. And you’re also less likely to see challenging situations as stressful in the first place, and more able to see adversity as an opportunity for learning and growth
For his book Good to Great, Jim Collins spent five years researching what makes the difference between a ‘good’ or a ‘great’ organisation and found that the people we interviewed from good to great companies, clearly loved what they did largely because they loved who they did it with.
So it would seem that great people often achieve great things because they are part of a great team. For example:
Thomas Edison may have got the credit for inventing the lightbulb, but he did it with the help of 30 lab assistants.
Neil Armstrong may have been the first person to walk on the moon, but it took a team of 400,000 scientists, engineers and technicians to actually get him there.
The sound of The Beatles would never have been what it was without the combination of John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Star playing together.
How can I improve my relationships with my colleagues?
You might think you have no control over who you’re surrounded by at work, but that’s not necessarily true. What you can do is change the balance of who you spend the most time with and how you spend it with them. Now that many of us are returning to the office at least part-time, this might be a great opportunity to think about how you want to interact with your colleagues going forward.
For example, you can make some simple changes such as choosing to spend more face to face time with colleagues you like on the days that you're in the office. This could be in the form of in-person meetings, or walking over to their desk when you need to speak to them, or arranging to have lunch together. Whereas with those colleagues you don’t get on so well with, you could choose to communicate more often by Zoom meeting or by email.
Of course, it’s unlikely that you can completely avoid having to work alongside colleagues you don’t gel with, but you can probably change the balance of time you spend with them face to face. These might seem like small changes but they could end up having a big effect on your interactions at work.
How can improve my relationships with my team if I'm a team leader or manager?
According to psychologist and science journalist Daniel Goleman, the most important single relationship at work you’ll have is with your boss. He calls it “a vertical couple” and says that the strength of this bond is the main predictor of daily productivity and how long someone will stay in their job
He also talks about a Gallup study that was conducted over the course of 70 years and was completed in 2009, which showed that US companies lost $360bn each year due to lost productivity because of poor manager/employee relationships
It’s really important to be aware of how our moods do affect others. Our emotions are in fact contagious up to two or three people away from us, and it takes just two minutes for one team member to pick up on the mood of another. So your mood could be impacting someone you work with, and in turn, that could impact their partner when they get home.
This reinforces the importance of working on your own happiness, because that can have a positive impact on the happiness of others too. You can choose what you want to put out in the world
So as a leader or manager, it is in your hands to affect the mood of a whole team in a positive way if you want to. And this can be done in a way that doesn’t have to be forced or feel fake. You don’t have to become best friends with your team, but this is about creating a basis is for mutual respect and for everyone to feel that they can be themselves and be authentic at work.
Here are some suggestions to get started:
Have more face to face meetings where possible.
Don’t multitask when someone speaks to or calls you.
Give them your full attention.
Make eye contact.
Use active listening.
Be curious and ask questions.
Give praise or say thank you to a colleague or team member.
These action steps may sound very simple, but they all help to build trust and send ripples of positivity through the workplace, and onwards to our wider families and communities too.
Do I need a personal brand? (yes and here’s why)
So I’ve been a bit quiet lately on the blogging front, because I wanted to take a step back and do some work on my ‘personal brand’. I had never really thought about it much before. I just cracked on, did the work, shared things online that I resonated with and that was that.
But after six years now of running my coaching biz (can you believe it?) I’ve realised that I definitely gravitate towards particular kinds of work, particular clients, and particular issues that feel important and where I want to help to make a difference.
I have a niche that feels good, I want to be known for certain things, and in a crowded marketplace it’s REALLY important to communicate that clearly. So with the help of some fabulous experts in this area (Check out Olivia Bath and Katie Carr if you're interested), I now understand what that ‘thing’ is that helps me stand out and I know how to communicate it clearly to the world. More on that over the next few weeks and months…
In the meantime, if you think that you’d like to do some work on your own personal brand and help yourself stand out in the workplace, here are 3 simple tips for getting started:
1. Think about what matters to you most. What drives you forward? These are your values, and ideally you want to align your personal values with the work that you do. For example, if one of your values is ‘fun’, how can you introduce that into your work? Could you organise social activities for your colleagues? Could you use it as part of your presentation style in meetings? These little tweaks will help you stand out.
2. What’s unique about you? What do you differently from others? A great way to find out is to ask for feedback from colleagues and friends. What do they love about working with you? Can they think of a time you made a big impact?
3. Don’t be afraid to make it personal. You don’t have to reveal or share anything at work that makes you uncomfortable, but we all have a personal story about what led us here and things that we’re passionate about. Think of some anecdotes that tell people a bit more about who you are and why you do what you do.
It really is worth spending some time thinking about your personal brand, in order to build your reputation and credibility, get noticed, and attract the success you rightly deserve. Let me know how you get on!
What do you really want in 2022? 🎄
The end of this year hasn't been what I expected.
We had a recent loss in our extended family which has left me feeling sad of course, but also reflective and asking some big questions.
Usually this is the time of year which, as a business owner, you start setting big goals for the year ahead.
How much do you want to earn? How many clients do you need each month? What will your marketing strategy be?
And yet I don't feel motivated by any of these things right now.
Of course these things are still important because running a business does take planning and preparation, but I'm much more preoccupied by what my WHOLE life will look like next year. How can I make the most of my time? Who will I spend it with? How can I support my body and mind to stay healthy and happy?
It's funny that these are the questions my clients have been asking themselves too. They also want to figure out how to maintain a balance and not let work crowd out their personal lives. And also how to set clear boundaries with family, friends and colleagues so that they can carve out more time for themselves and do the things they enjoy.
We've all been through a lot during the past couple of years, and possibly have come through it asking more questions about what we really want from our lives and careers.
If that sounds like you, here are a little exercise called 'Stop, Start, Continue' to help you figure out your 2022 plans:
Think back to 12 months ago…
What were you doing? What was happening in your life? Where were you working? Where were you living? How were you feeling? What were your hopes and plans for the next 12 months?
Now consider what hasn’t gone so well in your life and career? What will you stop doing?
What do you want to start doing for yourself and your career during the next 12 months? What have you been putting off?
And lastly, what has gone well in your life and career during that time? What are you proud of, and what will you continue doing in the future?
Hope you find this helpful. I'd love to hear how you got on.
Have a wonderful, restful Christmas and New Year and I'll see you on the other side.
Juliette xx
