How much do our parents influence our career choices?
With Father’s Day approaching, it’s got me thinking about how much our parents' jobs affect our own career paths, and is that actually a helpful thing?
I can clearly remember the excitement I would feel whenever there was school holiday or teacher training day, and my dad would announce that he was taking me with him to work.
He worked in TV production in London and his ‘office’ for that day could be anywhere from an edit suite in Soho, to a studio in Park Royal, or a location anywhere in the city. There would usually be camera equipment, lights, tapes and scripts piled high everywhere I looked, and always a buzz and sense of urgency in the people working around him. They would be dashing around, clutching Filofaxes (remember those?) and downing espressos, or holding important sounding conference calls on giant desk phones (this was pre-mobile) with clients in exotic places like New York or Los Angeles. To a 10 year old this seemed like THE most exciting way that anyone could spend their time. So was it any wonder that I desperately wanted to work in TV when I grew up?
A recent survey found that over 48% of respondents felt that their parents strongly influenced their career choices, and 40% said they felt pressure to follow their parents’ career advice.
This may or may not be intentional from the parents’ side, but it does show how powerful their influence can be. If a parent clearly loves their career then that may well rub off on their children too which is not necessarily a bad thing at all. However 57% of the survey respondents said that their parents simply wanted them to enter the same field or profession as theirs. Whilst this may stem from familiarity and wanting security for their children, it may also be doing them a disservice because it doesn’t take into account a young person’s unique combination of strengths and personal interests that will help to motivate them and excel in their career in the longer term.
So what can you do if you feel like you were steered down the wrong career path earlier in life, or if you are now a parent yourself?
Firstly, I’m a great believer that it never too late to discover your vocation. Whatever experience and self-knowledge you have gained to date is always valuable, and you will now have a much better understanding of what your core skills, strengths and motivators are than you did when you were younger. And also bear in mind that when our loved ones give us advice, it can be heavily influenced by their own life experiences and fears which may not be relevant or helpful to you now that you are older.
Secondly, if you are a parent yourself, it might be worth paying attention to the messages you’re already sending to your kids about what they might be want to do when they grow up. Take a step back and think about your own expectations and also any unfulfilled goals you have. Are you unwittingly pushing these onto your children? Also try to give them room to experiment and experience new things without being judgemental. As we all know, if they say they want to be a doctor today, they might want to be a circus acrobat tomorrow. So let them explore what gives them joy and what they’re most suited to, without fear of disapproval.
Personally, I did follow my dad into TV and had an exciting 8 years in that industry. However I eventually I realised that the Producer track I was on was not fulfilling me creatively in the ways I had expected and I eventually changed careers and moved into journalism. A few more years and a couple more career moves later across travel writing, charity communications and eventually advertising, I finally found my calling as a career coach but there was quite a bit of soul searching and frustration along the way. In the end I don’t regret any of the different career paths I tried out, and each one taught me something new about myself, but ultimately what I think I was searching for was the same passion for my job as my dad had for his. And I definitely did find that in the end.
Why self care will help you achieve more
Phew! I recently had to take some time off for a medical procedure and it just ZAPPED my energy.
It’s something I had done a few years ago but back then I was still working in my corporate job. On that occasion, I didn’t take enough time off to recover. I kept checking my emails whilst in bed and fretted the entire time that my team would fall apart without me! (err just to be clear, they didn’t). I came back to work exhausted, stressed and unable to give 100%.
However this time around, I knew the drill. I knew that I needed to block a full week off. I auto-scheduled my marketing so that my biz would keep ticking over without me, and set the OOO on my email so that people knew when they could expect to hear back from me.
And the change in attitude wasn’t just because this time I was working for myself. It was also because I’ve made more room in my life for self care. I’ve realised that it’s not just a ‘nice to have’. It is actually an ESSENTIAL part of how I manage my energy so that I can perform at my best in my business.
There’s a saying: Self care isn’t selfish, it’s self preservation.
It allows you to give your best to your career, your loved ones, and yourself. But it also gets easily side lined in our busy day to day lives. We put everything and everyone else first, and then wonder why we end up burned out and unhappy.
So make some time for self care this week. Schedule it in. Especially if you feel that your energy levels are flagging. Take 10mins every day to do something for you. When you are at your best, then you can give your best.
Chat to you soon,
Juliette
How to gain the one thing you want most in your career
How’s your July going so far? Are you following the Olympics? 🏅
I watched a documentary on BBC iPlayer the other day about the rower Helen Glover, called The Mother Of All Comebacks. It follows her journey to retrain for the Tokyo Games after having retired in 2016 to start a family. Her training schedule is absolutely gruelling, especially when you throw 3 young children into the mix including breastfeeding twins!
It’s an absolutely inspiring watch which I highly recommend, and it made me stop and reflect on personal drive and determination. What does it take to keep pursuing a goal, despite all the obstacles and challenges that life throws at you?
Can you think of a time when you went after something you really wanted and made it happen no matter what? How did you deal with any setbacks? How did you feel when you finally made it?
Reflecting on your past achievements can be a really powerful way to boost your confidence. And by remembering what has worked for you in the past, it can help you build a strong foundation for the future.
Tell me, what are you really proud of achieving?
